Approval of family

I am the last person that should be preaching about family approval but in the last couple of months I have become the keeper of secrets and I don't know who knows what and what is allowed to be said and what's not common knowledge. I am not talking about keeping small secrets these are big ones and all of them have been kept because of fear of judgement from rest of family. (I have been in this position in the past and still hold way too much credit to what others m over my own good judgement)

This has got me thinking that it's not just me that worries what people think but shouldn't we be able to look for to our family for support and congratulations and not be scared of reactions. I feel great to know that people have been able to talk to me about it but now I am holding these secrets and can't be happy or supportive openly in front of rest of the family.

It's such a horrible feeling that we can't be honest and open with the family - I hope that I can keep this open communication with the family and me and foster this with my two girls so they don't ever have to feel this.

And to all those special people out there - congratulations on special times, we love all of you that are struggling no matter what has happening and I am here for anyone that wants a hug.

Quiet in the house

Sometimes you should not enjoy the quiet - that was my lesson for yesterday. I have been so happy with how I am dealing with the two girls by myself - I thought it was going to be hard and I would be reduced to tears but so far no tears and only a couple of two year old tantrums - one or two each day is awesome.

Yesterday I put Lily down for a nap while I was feeding and thought there were two options arch up or she would fall asleep. She did fall asleep but not in the bed where I had put her down - she had moved into the living room but was fast asleep. I took the opportunity to catch up on some sleep as well but should have realised that quiet is not a measure of a two year old being asleep.

She had a sleep but when I checked on her later she had found a permanent marker and some chocolate in the top drawer. She was occupied and happy but chocolate and permanent markers unsupervised is not a good combination. Slowly my house is becoming rearranged for my own sanity.

A new year, new beginnings and a new addition

Christmas for us this year was awesome - relaxing and non stressful. Our family did all tentative rsvps and we were able to go at our own pace - with the excuse of being very pregnant this worked great.

Ten days before Christmas I went into hospital and our family welcomed in a beautiful baby girl who has the calmest personality and has just fit in so well. Her big sister loves her to pieces and is always wanting a cuddle and kisses.

Motherhood to a newborn has been much more enjoyable for me this time around. She is feedings, putting on wieght, got rid of jaundice herself and sleeps well. If all babies were like this there would be more babies being born and less freaked out, stressed new mothers. Having a two and a half year old as well this has been an absolute blessing.

I am really looking forward to spending time with my two girls as they grow up together and I have already started to plan for fun activities for Christmas next year - picking up things at the sales as I know they will both have a lot of fun together.